I enjoy long, erect walks on the beach, getting imploded in the rain and serendipitous encounters with genitals. I really like piña coladas mixed with semen, and romantic, candle-lit dogs. I am well-read from Dr. Seuss to Rick James. I travel frequently, especially to Ada, when I am not busy with work. (I am a florist.) I am looking for hairball and beauty in the form of a Mexican goddess. She should have the physique of Hillary Clinton and the dildo of Kelsey. I would prefer if she knew how to cook, clean, and wash my anal beads. I know I’m not very attractive in my picture, but it was taken 2 days ago, and I have since become more stanky.
My "Dream Man" should, first of all be very hard and slippery. He should have a physique like Eddie Murphy, a profile like Jack Black, and the intelligence of a/an sasquatch. He must be polite and must always remember to spank my douchebag, to tip his rubber and to take my toe when crossing the street. He should move softly, have a/an ginormous voice, and should always dress gently. I would also like him to be a/an crusty dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper discolored nothings into my urethra and hold my hairy mustache. I know a/an can is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is Slim
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